1 month

wow! how can we be at the 1 month mark already?! i think that was the quickest month of our lives! so much has happened.

here is her 1 month pic:

compared to her 1 week pic:

our first night home from the hospital was horrific. we literally got no sleep at all because she was screaming the ENTIRE night. we tried everything: feeding her, changing her diaper, burping her...everything! the problem was the feeding part. she would NOT do it! every "typical" breastfeeding position i would try immediately caused her to scream bloody murder. i would even just START to go into one of the positions, and she would flip out! when she would latch on, it was only for a few seconds, and we noticed she hadn't had a poopy diaper since the hospital, so we knew she wasn't eating enough. so, i called the pediatrician's office right when they opened the next morning, and told them what was going on. thankfully, they double booked, and squeezed us in.

once we got there, we worked with the lactation consultant, and remi was still highly avoiding breastfeeding. the nurse suggested we go out and buy a pump because we needed to get food into her asap. remi was down a whole pound :( and she only weighed 6 lbs. 15 ounces at birth. so we went home, quickly looked for ANY coupons online since breast pumps are like $300, found one, and then erik ran out to babies r us to buy one. i pumped as soon as he got home, and she took the bottle like a champ!!! i wasn't sure how she would do since a bottle is so foreign to her, but thank GOODNESS she chugged the thing.

the pediatrician's office double booked the next day for us again because they wanted to see how much she gained in 24 hours with the pumped milk. she gained 3 whole ounces! they were hoping for 1/4 oz.! then 2 days later she gained another 4 oz! we were so relieved. it was scary! also during this time, i continued working with her on breastfeeding because i didnt want to exclusively pump. she still hated all the holds though, so i sort of came up with one. i knew she liked to be in this little "frog" position while she is on my chest for skin-to-skin contact, so i basically just moved her down, and to the left or right (for whichever breast i wanted to use). looks sort of like this:

this drawing was of the woman reclining back, so i just photoshopped it so she is sitting straight up, since that's what i do with remi hahaha...it's a weird position, but it was the only one she would do! so, it was an extremely expensive pump purchase for about 3 days of use, but we did what we had to do (and i guess now we have a nice pump if i need to stock up on milk a bit). 

about a week or so later, i tried the cradle hold typical breastfeeding position to see if she would go for it, and she did. it was like she didn't care anymore! so i did that for a few days, but noticed she was getting really bad gas pains and screaming for hours because of it :( i thought maybe something in my diet was affecting her, so i cut out all dairy for a day. but then i realized her gas pain started about the same time i started the cradle hold position, so i went back to the frog position, and she's been better since! i think her sitting upright while feeding is what really helps. 

speaking of breastfeeding though...it has been really tough. it's extremely painful. like...feels like your nips are getting cut off with a razor blade painful. you would think something so natural would be easier! but nope! it hurts like crazy and really tests your limits. at the 3 week mark it started to get better, but then she went through her 3 week growth spurt, and was feeding every 30-45 minutes, so i couldn't catch a break and they started hurting badly all over again. ugh. still working on it though. 

the day we brought her home from the hospital

2 weeks later

anyway! other things! 

my pubic bone pain is gone! about a week after delivery, it just disappeared! i can walk again!!! i told erik and my mom that i'm pretty sure postpartum depression would be impossible for me because i automatically feel so AMAZING to be able to walk again! however, i found if i walk too much, it can start to hurt a bit again, so i can't get TOO excited and walk for miles and miles. but the fact i can walk to even the kitchen again with no pain is enough to keep me on cloud 9. 

the days have pretty much been a blur. in the beginning, she slept a lot more, and now she is awake more during the day. we had to sort of switch her schedule around because babies are born automatically being more nocturnal since that's how they were in the womb. so switching her from night to day was something we had to do, but she's getting much better at night now. i have more confidence she will stay asleep when i set her down now than before when i would set her down and 10 minutes later she would wake up (which is the last thing you want at the end of the day when you are exhausted!). 

july 19th

july 29th

the most hilarious picture i have of remi, to date. by the way, she's not screaming...
her mouth is just wide open hahaha...

we go to bed anytime between 11pm and 1am now. i give her her last feeding before bed, burp her, then change her diaper if need be, then swaddle her, then burp her again (patting her back makes her eyes heavy lol), then i go upstairs and walk with her for a few minutes until her eyes completely close, then i put her down and cross my fingers. it's been working well though. lately she will sleep for 3-3.75 hours, then i repeat the feeding process above, then she will sleep another 2-2.75 hours, then i repeat the process above, then she will sleep about another 2 hours, and i repeat the process above and then it's time to get up for the day. when the sun rises, she doesn't really go back to sleep. 

she really likes bath time! during her first one, she cried at first, but then she liked it. now, she doesn't cry at all! we use the puj tub, and she absolutely LOVES it (and so do i)! it's so convenient. 

something else that has been SUPER helpful (and i recommend to all new parents) is the "itzbeen" timer:

simply put, it is my new brain. like i said before, days/time sort of all blurs together, so having this little guy is SO handy. it keeps track of your last diaper change, feeding, how long the baby has been sleeping, and it has an extra timer for whatever you want. it also has a switch for left breast or right breast so you can remember which one you used last. I LOVE THIS THING. you can also get apps on your phone that do similar things, but erik uses this timer too, so if i were out running an errand or something and had my phone with the app on it with me, he couldnt use the timer on it. i dunno, i just like that this is a separate thing than a phone. 

cloth diapers!

so, we tried using the cloth diapers to see if they would fit her yet, and we're almost there, but i'm not quite comfortable that they wont leak yet. there is a bit of gapping by her thighs, so we're going to keep using disposables a bit longer until she chunks up more haha...still really excited to use them though!

overall, remi is a great baby. she really doesn't complain unless there is a reason. sure there have been some awful nights/days when she just wont sleep or something, but then she will smile at you, and you sort of just forget about those bad times. she has already grown so much, i can't believe it. speaking of smiles...she gives erik a super cute one (at 3:10) in this video i took!

love it!
can't wait to see what else she surprises us with in the next month!